Here’s How You Can Make Active Efforts to See Your Children
Video Transcribed: Hello, my name is Attorney Jason Lile. I am an Oklahoma father’s rights lawyer. I’d like to address what I would call a soft problem in most divorce or custody cases.
That is dads often find themselves in the position, where they have built-in somehow into the situation during a divorce or a paternity case, of less contact daily with the children or child than the mothers do. The question then becomes, how can you as a dad, both because you want to and because you should, have frequent contact with your children so that it cannot be used against you in court that you don’t. Along those lines, it is often attempted to be used against men in paternity cases or custody cases where the other litigant will say, “Well, he’s not in touch with the kids every day. I’m the one taking care of them every day.”
One of the answers that I have for you is that you should be making active efforts. What does that mean? It means you can’t drive to the mother’s house and say, “I demand to see these children, right now.” That can be deemed as disturbing the peace. You can end up with a protective order against you. Also, you can’t technically make her allow you to see those kids. She can block your phone calls, block your emails. Again, you can run the risk of getting a protective order.
What you should be doing is reaching out in peaceful ways and being insistent that you be allowed to have time with the children. You should also have time and a place to take those children. This means you need to work it out with your job and the rest of your life and have a place for them to go that’s safe that if a court or DHS were to look at your home or apartment, it’s safe. There’s a place for those kids to sleep, et cetera.
The third thing is you need an attorney to make sure that he or she is doing the right thing in court to ensure that you end up with an order that says you are entitled to see those children on a frequent basis. Yes, ideally, it would be an equal basis, but it might not be due to logistics or other factors in your case. But you never want it to be said that you just didn’t make an effort to have frequent contact with your children. More importantly, it’s better for your children if you have frequent contact with them if you’re going through a divorce or you’re separated from the other parent.
If you have any questions about this or any other family law-related matters, again, my name is Attorney Jason Lile, and I am a men’s divorce attorney in Tulsa. You can find my contact information at Dads.Law, and I would be happy to consult with you.